She's Tired
by alwayskayla
Summary: Spoilers for Gravedigger Trial. Not really a tag, but it is based on that heartcrushing last scene. Angsty at first, but fluffy like we like 'em in the end. I'm trying to get my shiny back. Anyway, Brennan is tired. Fluff now, smut later. Hopefully.
1. She's Tired

**Spoilers for Gravedigger and all the other ones.

Oh, and I don't own anything except my fucking crushed heart.

Kthnx.

A/N: This makes me feel better. I hate fucking angst right now. I know, I KNOW. "The Parts in the Sum of the Whole," was meant to be the catalyst for all the damn angsty change, but my GOD. Do they absolutely have to make me cry so damn much? I apologize for all the cursing, but I find it helps with the stress. I swear, if Hart and Stephen make me feel all dark and twisty all damn summer, I'm not going to be happy. The finale can be angsty if its abso-freaking-lutely necessary, but it better end with at least a small amount of hope. Please.

Writing smutty fanfic is to McKaylaBug as Sweets is to Booth and Brennan. Therapy. Not always easy, usually frustrating, but you leave with a sense of satisfaction and maybe even a slight amount of hope. Even if it is the false kind.

And hey, thanks for stopping by. Sorry I'm not all bright and shiny like usual, I blame Squart. Don't get me wrong, I have faith in the two of 'em, but they're pushing in just the right spot to tick me off right now. That last scene where she freaking got in the cab (like in tPitSotW but more epic) I was screaming, STOP THE DAMN CAB, BOOTH! WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING? GO AFTER HER! Shit.

I'm going to try really hard to put a plot with this, but I'm not going to lie and say it'll be more than a oneshot. I suck at multichaps. Just ask everyone who's waiting on me to update "Ten Little Things" I really want to finish that…. In the meantime, enjoy this. We'll see what happens. Oh, and hey, *insert shameless plug* If you *LIKE* plot-less smut, which I'm trying to not make this, then please see my oneshot (with possible potential) "Twisted Steps to Happiness" and the oneshot (with no potential) "And They Danced." Okay, previews are over, and time for the feature presentation.

*This actually didn't turn out at all like plotless smut. There actually, for whatever reason, is no smut. Mainly because it is now 5:25 a.m, and I need sleep. This will turn into a twoshot. (That's not a multichap! So I didn't lie.)*

I give you, She's Tired.

Brennan was tired. She was tired of work. She was tired of the smell of rotting flesh. She was tired of Cam and Sweets and less-than-competent interns. She was tired. She wanted something that would shake her out of whatever funky mood she was in. The Gravedigger trial was over, Angela and Hodgins got married, and Sweets and Cam were happy. Damn them all! She was still unhappy. No, she wasn't actually mad at her friends for being happy, she was a little jealous, though. Glass of wine in hand, she walked towards her bedroom with not much hope for sleep. Her not-hope was confirmed when she heard an annoying knock at her door. Without bothering to see who it was, she jerked the door open.

"Booth. Wha- it's four a.m. I thought you said you'd see me tomorrow?"

"I know, I'm sorry, Bones. Technically it is tomorrow, though, and I just wanted to make sure you were okay."

"I'm fine, Booth, go home and go to bed."

"You sound angry."

"Yes, because I am trying to sleep."

"You weren't in bed."

"I was on my way!" It bothered Brennan that that was the third time she'd lost control and raised her voice that day.

"Bones, just let me in for a minute. I want to talk to you."

With a sigh filled with complete exhaustion, hopelessness, and a couple emotions she feared, she stepped aside and closed the door after Booth had walked through.

"What do you want to talk about?"

"You. You kind of scared me back there at the bar… are you rethinking our partnership, Bones, because I gotta know. I can't… I can't sleep with this on my mind, and the thought of losing… this… this partnership, our friendship, and our… the thought of losing you kills me, Bones. I need you to reassure me that we're okay."

Brennan _was_ tired, and, truth be told, she _had _been thinking of her life before crime-solving became such a big part of it, but the desperate look on Booth's face tore at her heart. She didn't want to lose their partnership, friendship, whatever either. She didn't want to lose him.

"I… I don't know, Booth… Like I said, this wasn't my plan… I never wanted to be a crime-solver. I'm not a cop." But Brennan valued honesty… at any cost.

"So you're just going to throw away five years? Huh? Bones. Even you can see the… the _value_ in this. We've… I've invested too much into this to lose it!"

"I'm not saying--" but he cut her off.

"Yes you are! You don't want this life anymore. You want to go explore Africa or whatever and identify thousand-year-old bones. You don't see what this means. You won't let yourself.

"I do see the value, Booth! I don't want to lose it! I'm just tired, Booth. But I don't want to lose you. I can't."

In a fit of barely controlled anger, anger that made him shake, anger directed at himself for letting her even think about running, Booth grabbed her like he should have when she got in that taxi…both times, and he held her in place in front of him.

"Why?"

"Why what?"

"Why do you not want to lose me? Bones. Why can't you lose me?"

"I… I…"

"Say, goddamn it, say it!"

Tears burned at the surface of her eyes. They threatened to trickle down her face. She couldn't talk, couldn't move, couldn't breathe. She couldn't do anything but stutter and stare at his intense, brown eyes.

"Booth, I… I…"

He let out his breath in a sigh of despair. She couldn't understand. She could, but she wouldn't let herself. She wouldn't let herself love him.

He dropped his arms to his sides and looked at the floor.

He'd gotten the answer he came for.

He'd asked too much again.

He turned to leave.

The slamming door broke the dam of her heart. She let it overflow when she sank to the floor. The tears streamed down her face and splattered on the floor. She felt something inside her that broke her. It felt like her heart split in two. Logical Brennan knew that was impossible. "The heart is a muscle. It cannot be broken. It can only be crushed." Well her heart was crushing. She'd crushed it herself. She had felt Booth's crushing when he walked out the door. She'd done it. She'd hurt him like she swore she never would. She had to fix it…just _had _to.

She stood up with a fury-filled fear and launched herself at the door. She ran to the elevator and punched the button. The light said it was stopped at the first floor.

"Booth…" she gasped.

She ran for the stairs with her bare feet and pajamas. She burst through from the staircase just as he'd walked out the front door.

"Booth!"

She ran for the door and pulled it open. He was walking to his car.

"Booth! Stop! Please, stop!"

He whirled around at the sound of her voice and saw her running to him.

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry, Booth. I hurt you and I promised you I wouldn't… That's why I wouldn't let us have a shot at this… that's why, and you knew, but you let me… Booth, I'm sorry I hurt you."

She was sobbing and fisting the sleeves of his jacket to make him understand how sorry she was.

"I'm so sorry, Booth. I know what you want me to say, and you know how I feel… I just… I'm so scared, Booth. I'm scared I'll hurt you again… scared I'll crush your heart like I already have."

"Hey… hey. Hold on a second," he was trying to hold her face so she'd look at him, but the tears in her eyes made that impossible.

He wiped her tears and tilted her face so she was looking at him.

"You are not going to hurt me. I'm not breakable."

"Yes you are. You are, Booth, and I'm a mallet. I will hurt you."

"Mallets only work on breakable things. My heart won't break, remember? If you're a mallet, that's not bad enough to hurt me. You're gonna have to be a bit stronger than that."

"A mallet would surely harm a heart, Booth. The heart would never work correctly again!"

"So I'll get a pace-maker, for god's sake!"

"Bones, you came all the way down here… barefoot and in your pajamas."

"I know." She wiped her eyes, and stared down the road.

"What's stopping you?"

Brennan turned her attention back to Booth. Those eyes of his were pleading with her. He knew how she felt. He knew it before she even did, but he needed to hear her say it. _That would fix his heart, _she thought, _it's his pace-maker._

She glanced at their entangled hands. She squeezed as hard as she could, she held on and let her grip tell him that he couldn't leave her, that she was sorry if she ever hurt him again, that she would do her best to stand by his side forever, if there is a such thing, and that he meant enough to her to break a wall that hadn't been cracked since her childhood, and then she let her mouth heal his heart.

With a tear-stained face, a wounded heart, and tired, fear-filled eyes, she let the whisper escape her lips.

"I love you more love than I ever thought my body could hold." She didn't wait to see his reaction. She dropped her eyes to the ground and let healing tears roll freely. Booth pulled her into his chest and held her while she cried on his jacket. He held her so tightly that she thought the grip from her hands had sent the message she'd wanted it too, and then he pulled away and smiled the biggest smile she'd ever seen.

He kissed her and held her head with tenderness and care between his hands.

"God, Bones. I love you… I love you so much. Don't worry about hurting me, okay? Because you're the only one who can heal me anyway."

Brennan could only smile back at him. She was still crying, but she felt better… somehow, letting her heart free and letting Booth in had helped. She didn't know why, she didn't understand, and she may never be able to, but in that moment of time she felt better. She felt loved. She hadn't felt that in so long.

"C'mon. We gotta get you some sleep, huh? I'll keep you warm."

"That sounds nice."

"Alright. Good. C'mon."

Booth grabbed her hand and squeezed a single tight squeeze that told her it would be okay, and pulled her into the building.

When the elevator doors opened and they stepped inside, Booth could help himself.

"I love you." He said with a shoulder bump.

"I love you, too." She smiled weakly, happily, and leaned into him.

She felt better and not as scared, but all the emotions from that day had drained her. Sleeping beside Booth would hopefully revive her, and let her feel the fullness of this newfound happiness in the morning.

They crawled into bed with the curtains pulled to expose the starry, clear night, and settled into each other's arms for the first time.

The sex could wait. Tonight was about healing, care, and promises.

Booth kissed her on the cheek and nuzzled the back of her neck, "I love you, Bones. I will never tire of saying it."

"I love you, Booth, and I will never tire of hearing it."

They slept with smiles on their faces, and pace-makers on their healing hearts.

It was a long road, but it would be a great ride.

Sooo… that wasn't smutty like I'd planned. But it was hopeful, and I feel better now.

I hope you do.

I do want a chapter two full of "getting to know each other," and maybe even telling the team, but tell me what you think. I value opinions like I value Cap'n Crunch.

And I really, really, value Cap'n Crunch. The berry kind.

Thank you again for stopping by!

-KaylaBug

*And, hey, sorry for any spelling/grammatical errors. I read it over, but I probably missed something. Sorry!*


	2. She's Healing

**A/N: Wow! Thanks for all the amazing reviews! You guys are sweet :) I'm feeling much less dark and twisty inside. I'm still worried about the finale, though. I just hope we're left with a little hope. *phalanges crossed***

**This is the smutty/fluffy conclusion to this little two-shot that was supposed to be finished like 5 days ago. I warned you. I'm terrible at this deadline thing. I have no motivation. Anyway, hope you like it! **

**I wasn't kidding about the fluffy thing. It's so fluffy, I almost vomited while writing it. **

**I'm kidding. A little. ;)**

***Note Rating Change***

**Also, *spoiler alert,* I'm going to just forget the fact that Brennan is contemplating going to Indonesia for god knows how long, and Booth is being tempted to go to Afganistan. Honestly, I could handle it as long as its like what usually happens. Like last season when Bren decided to go off to Guatemala and dig up old remains, that's cool. Whatever. I just DO NOT want to spend a whole season watching Booth and Brennan **_**not **_**be together. I mean, in the same country together. Ughhh… **_**Have faith, Kayla. Trust in Squart. **_**Yeah. I'm trying. **

**Okay, here ya go. Enjoy :) **

**She's Healing**

**

* * *

**

The healing, it takes time. Band-aids don't cut it.

But this helped. Waking up surrounded by warmth and love? Yeah, that really helped.

Her sleepy eyes smiled when she felt Booth's strong arms wrapped around her. She turned in his embrace and kissed his sleeping lips until she felt them smile. She pulled back and they stared into each other's eyes.

"Good morning," he said with bright, sparkling eyes.

"Good morning to you," she replied.

"I still love you."

"And I still love you."

"Are you scared?" he asked when he ran his fingers through her slightly tangled hair.

"This is new to me, you know that, but I know that you are patient and I trust you. You've never failed me before. All I have left to be scared of is hurting you, and even though you've established that you're apparently not breakable," she said with a smile, "I'll still worry about that every day."

"You know, Bones, we will fight. We always have… it's how we communicate. We bicker and argue, and then we make up. We'll fight, hurt each other's feelings, make up, and then we'll move on. We'll always make it through though."

"You can't know that, Booth."

"Well," he said patiently, "Logically, if you look at our history, that's what happens. We've never _not_ made it through something, have we?"

"Your evidence does support your claim…"

"Yes it does." They were both smiling and snuggling in the early morning light, "Ahh, Bones, we're going to be fine. Just fine."

"Promise?"

"Always," Booth kissed her like he wanted to for the rest of his life and Brennan hoped he always would. She knew he always would.

He pulled away and looked into her eyes, "Are you always this beautiful in the morning?"

"Hahaa," she chuckled good-heartedly, "Flattery will get you everywhere, my friend."

"Will it get me some breakfast and then all day in bed with a beautiful woman?"

"Absolutely. Pancakes?"

"What about the beautiful woman?"

"I don't know," she said while rolling out of bed and pulling the blanket with her, "maybe you can go pick one up after breakfast."

"You are an evil woman," he joked while trying to find his pants.

Brennan just chuckled her way into the bathroom, "I'm going to take a quick shower and then I'll make breakfast, okay?"

"'Kay," Booth pulled himself out of the warm bed and made his way to the kitchen.

She emerged fifteen minutes later with a robe on and her wet hair tickling her neck.

Padding through the hallway, Brennan smelled something heavenly.

"God, Booth, what is that smell?"

"Aha! Coffee and banana pancakes, with a lovely spread of fruit on the side."

"Aww, Booth. You didn't have to do that! I was going to help."

"Yes, but you took too long, and I was hungry."

She "hrumphed" under her breath and got juice from the fridge and then poured them each a glass. She walked over to where he was pulling plates from the cabinets.

"Need some help?"

"Nope, you have a seat and I'll be right there with the best pancakes you've _ever_ tasted."

Brennan smiled and walked over to the table. She picked up the newspaper he'd gotten from her door and perused the articles looking for something interesting.

Booth was only minutes longer, and then he had the banana pancakes all decorated with fruit and powdered sugar and brought them to the table.

"Wow, Booth. I'm really impressed! These look fantastic."

"Well thank you. Parker and I make these all the time. He loves them, and it's really the only thing I'm good at cooking."

"Well you could make a living cooking these for people," she said after the first bite, "they're wonderful."

"Glad you like them," he smiled, proud of himself.

"Mmm, you know, Booth, we're going to have to tell the Bureau and the team about us. Are you worried the FBI won't let us work together?"

"Nah, Hacker's asked me before if we were together and didn't seem upset about the possibility. He'll just be upset that he doesn't have a chance anymore," he glanced at her between bites. "You aren't worried about everyone at the Jeffersonian are you? I mean, I think they'll be fine with it. Don't you?"

"Angela has made it quite clear to me what she thinks of you and I in a romantic relationship," she chuckled, "and I wouldn't think Hodgins or Cam would have a problem with it either."

"Good, then. So, no problem right?"

"Right. What about Parker? Will he be okay with us together?"

"Oh, absolutely! He loves his "Doctor Bones.""

Brennan looked worried.

"Bones," he put down his fork and took her hand, "We're going to make this work, okay? You gotta stop worrying."

She let her head drop and her eyes filled with tears.

"Hey," he said, getting up and moving to kneel in front of her, "what's wrong?"

"I… I can't lose you, Booth. I can't let that happen."

"Who says I'm going somewhere, huh? I'm right where I need to be, and right where I'll always be. I'm not going anywhere, Bones. You have to trust me."

"I told you. I'm horrible at this."

"You are doing just fine. This is day one, okay? There will be plenty of opportunities for both of us to mess up."

"God, I'm a mess," she said with a halfhearted giggle, "I'm going to go wash my face."

"Okay, Bones."

Brennan got up to go splash some cool water on her face. She was worried, and half of her brain was screaming at her to grab her shoes and run. The other half; though, the other half knew that running now after she'd already committed would crush Booth's heart. She would stay because hurting him was not an option, and because there was this feeling inside of her. It was in a place she'd never really felt before. It felt new and anxious. It was like her ribs contracted around her lungs and heart every time she thought of him. She felt hope, a little fear of the unknown, and just _good._ It was weird, but she liked it. She would cherish every minute of it.

After her face felt sufficiently cooled off, she turned the water off and dried her face with a towel. When she stood up straight to look in the mirror, she smiled at what she saw. Seeley Joseph Booth. _Yummm… _said her apparently aroused mind. He was leaning against the door frame with his arm above his head smiling that intense smile that turned her to putty.

He walked up so that her still damp hair was a breath away from his nose. He locked eyes with her when he inhaled the heavenly scent of the vanilla-lavender shampoo mixed with something entirely _Bones._ She let her head rest in that perfect crook where neck met shoulder and relaxed in his embrace. She felt certain she'd be happy to spend the rest of her life right there.

Booth took her hands and pulled her silently to the bedroom. It was an odd thing, Brennan thought, to be able to stare into someone's eyes like she and Booth did, and not feel the least bit awkward. She could stare into his eyes forever and never get tired of the view.

When they passed through the threshold of Brennan's bedroom, Booth pulled her close to him again. He pressed his forehead to hers and then pulled off her shirt and dropped it to the floor, forgotten.

Brennan equaled the playing field when she rid him of his own shirt as well. She ran her hands over his sculpted abdomen and around his neck to pull his lips to hers. Their kiss was heated with the weight of the moment they were sharing. The remaining articles of clothing were soon forgotten as they made their way to her still un-made bed. Booth pulled her down on top of him, and as she settled on his chest, she asked a question he never thought he'd hear in reality.

"Do you love me?"

"Do you want me to prove it to you?"

She kissed him again and he flipped them so that she was under his strong body. He decorated her neck with kisses as her fingers searched through his ruffled hair. She pressed his lips to her breast and he gladly complied. They wrestled for dominance in their tangled mess. This wasn't about teasing or exploration. This was passion… passion that had sat dormant for the better part of six years. They rolled and she was on top for a few seconds before he wanted control back. They rolled again and he pushed her shoulders to the mattress. He sank down to between her beautiful legs and kissed her light curls. She arched to his waiting lips and moaned when she felt his tongue sink into her.

"Booth.. God. Booth.."

He sucked her clit into his mouth and her head spun. She cried out when he let his teeth graze it on the way out.

He smiled as he crawled back up her body.

She pulled his lips back to hers and let her juices mix between their fevered tongues. She felt him line up with her core and pulled back to see his eyes. She would remember the look they held for her entire life. The shear certainty that they emitted was hope for her heart. _Maybe they would be okay. _She allowed herself to think. She held his face between her hands as he slid into her warmth. Her head pressed back into the pillow and his dropped to her neck.

They moved in abandon. The rhythm they set was unlike any other. It was to a song neither had heard, but each note was perfect. They held each other in sweat and the same passion that had started this beautiful mess.

And when they fell over that ledge together, it was more amazing than either had ever experienced.

Booth collapsed beside her and closed his exhausted eyes. Their hands found each other and held tightly to this brand new love.

After a few moments of rest, Brennan turned to Booth.

"I trust you, Booth. I know we'll make this work," she said.

She'd touched his heart so many times in the last 24 hours that he shouldn't have been surprised, but those words still made his heart flutter.

"Yes we will, Bones," he said when he turned to face her, "yes we will."

* * *

**A/N: So? What do you think? Personally, I wouldn't complain if this is how the season ends, but I highly doubt that will happen ;) I'm kidding. I'm sure whatever HH and SN have planned will be perfect :) Less than 24 hours until we find out! Who's excited? I know I am! **

**Hey, though, thanks a lot for reading. I really appreciate you taking the time. Also, thank you to those who chose to review. That means a lot too :) **

**Kayla**


End file.
